What is a godly marriage? How can I have a healthy marriage? Both are questions I’ve asked over the years as it felt like I had neither. It is so easy to feel hopeless when marriage is hard. Today I will share 3 Characteristics of a Godly Marriage you can start building today to have a healthy marriage. They all Biblical marriage principles that will give you hope for marriage!
Characteristics of a Godly Marriage
Let me be clear that you can not start with these common questions:
- “What are the traits of a godly husband?”
- “What are the characteristics of a godly wife?”
While those are important questions, they tend to get you on the offensive. If you start with those questions you will begin to tear down your spouse rather than focus on creating the godly marriage you desire.
So while these characteristics of a godly marriage may apply to either a husband or a wife I encourage you to ask yourself this question instead.
“Do I show this characteristic of a godly marriage? Am I a godly spouse?”
If you begin there God will be able to mold your heart and change your marriage.
And I will give them one heart, and put a new spirit within them. And I will take the heart of stone out of their flesh and give them a heart of flesh,” Ezekiel 11:19
What is a godly marriage? It is not a perfect marriage. No, godly marriage is simply a marriage where one or both spouses are leaning into God – trying to do marriage God’s way.
Are you saved? Has there been a time when you realized you were a sinner, far from God? Salvation is the first of these 16 Characteristics of a godly marriage because without God in one of your lives there will not be a godly marriage.
Maybe you’ve been asking ‘How can I have a healthy marriage?’
Ideally, both husband and wife would be saved, on fire, living their lives for God alone. When you are both keeping Christ at the center of your lives you will have a healthy marriage.
In the same way, you wives, be submissive to your own husbands so that even if any of them are disobedient to the word, they may be won without a word by the behavior of their wives,” 1 Peter 3:1
But what if you are saved while your spouse is lost? Maybe your spouse claims to be saved but there is little fruit or evidence in their life of that salvation. Or perhaps you know they are saved but they are not a mature Christian.
It’s okay. It’s not ideal, but what in life is ideal? If you look up a godly marriage verse or godly marriage scripture you will find that God gives us an honest picture of real, flawed marriages throughout the entire Bible. Most of the time one spouse is following hard after God while the other is either lost, doubting or discouraging the other from following God.
Be sure to read “Through God’s Eyes: Marriage Lessons for Women“
As flawed human beings, we will each be in different places with our walk with God. If one of you are saved and following hard after God there is still hope for a Godly Marriage.
2. Bible Study
It’s not enough just to be saved, though that is one of the characteristics of a godly marriage. You need to really spend time with God, get to know God! Bible Study is a characteristic of a godly marriage because through bible study you will know His voice.
God has a plan for your life and God has a plan for your marriage. You will never know God’s plan unless you are in His Word getting to know Him.
For I know the plans that I have for you,’ declares the Lord, ‘plans for welfare and not for calamity to give you a future and a hope.” Jeremiah 29:11
The enemy also has a plan for your life – or a plan to keep you from God’s plan for your life. If the enemy had his way he would keep you from everything God has for you. God wants you to have a healthy marriage which is why He lays out Biblical Marriage Principles throughout scripture. The enemy wants you divorced, depressed, far from God’s will and God’s plan. When the enemy can get divorce into your story he gets to take down the entire family.
When you study the Bible you learn to recognize God’s voice. When you know the voice of God you will recognize any other voices trying to pull you away from God’s best in your life.
3. Prayer Time
Let’s say you are saved. Great job! You are well on your way. Maybe you read your bible every so often, you joined a Bible Journaling group, printed out some verse cards and you are on your way with God. That is amazing and you are growing spiritually. Prayer is the next logical step.
Confess your faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed. The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much.” James 5:16
Prayer is how we talk to God. God longs for an intimate relationship with you. We know the importance of Communication in Marriage but somehow we miss the importance of communication with God to develop all the characteristics of a godly marriage.
I don’t mean those quick three word prayers we are all good at praying either.
- God help me.
- God change him.
- Bless this food.
- Protect them, Lord,
Yes, those prayers are okay when we are in the thick of life, but we need more than that if we are going to grow in faith.
How do you start praying consistently?
Prayer is simple. Just talk to God. Do you remember the beginning days of your marriage? Mine was before texting (yikes I feel old). He got off work at 10 and I would wait by the phone because I knew he would call when he got home. We would talk for hours just to talk. Nothing important was said really, but we were talking. I loved him and wanted to hear His voice. He loved me and wanted to hear my voice.
God loves you and wants to hear your voice.
Set a time each day just to talk to Him. Mark it on your schedule so you are reminded every day to spend a few minutes talking to God. You will find that as you pray your faith will grow, you will develop even more characteristics of a godly marriage!